Dear Ms. Cards Etiquette,
A friend of mine is going through a divorce, and I’d like to send her a card to help boost her spirits. What kind of card should I send? I don’t want to accidentally make her feel any worse!
– Sandra M.
As you obviously know, Sandra, divorce is often a very hard time for people. Couples often have a lot of mutual friends, and one of the biggest issues for many newly divorced individuals is the fear of “losing” their friends to their ex-spouse, or even just losing touch with them because of all the stress. Sadly, some friends seem to react to divorce like a major illness, and they avoid their divorcing friends because they don’t know what to say, or how to act gracefully in the situation.
While I’ve had some friends who got a giggle out of “Congratulations” cards after a divorce, if your friend is having a hard time, send a simple “Thinking of You” card instead of trying to be funny. Write a quick note inside, letting her know you’re there for her if she wants to talk, or get her mind off things. And then make good on it!
Call a few days later (or stop by her house, if you’re close), to see if she received the card, and ask if she wants to go out for lunch or dinner some time. Even if it’s not a good time, or she’s not feeling social, knowing that you’re still there and still wanting to be friends, will certainly boost her spirits by itself.