Morbid Mother-in-Law

Do I need to send an anniversary card to my mother-in-law, even though her
husband died a few years ago? I think it’s rather morbid, but my wife
insists that her mother enjoys receiving cards for the occasion.

– Squeamish in Seattle

Well, it may seem a bit morbid, Squeamish, but if your MIL really does
enjoy receiving remembrance on her anniversary date, there’s no reason
not to send her something for the occasion. Look at it this way:
Presumably her husband meant a great deal to her, and they were together
for a long time. She’s going to remember their anniversary whether or not
anyone else does, so which would you prefer in her place: She sits around
by herself, feeling alone and remembering how much she misses her husband,
or she receives cards from loved ones who also remember him, letting her
know her family is thinking of her and that her husband hasn’t been

If you’re uncomfortable sending her a “happy anniversary” card, you could
always compromise with your wife and buy a “thinking of you” card instead,
and perhaps send a bouquet of flowers to go with it. If nothing else,
consider your anniversary remembrance an investment in family harmony …
a card is a small price to pay for familial good will, wouldn’t you say?